This listing is not being advertised.02135
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Price: $1,100 Available: Now.
1 BEDROOM - 1 BATH
APARTMENTMAN In need of a break from the frantic pace of city life in Boston JOHNNY BORING, (TM) and his alter ego APARTMENTMAN, (TM) decide to seek a break from the frenzy and cold of the streets of New England. Where to go What to see What to do Suddenly, looking down at a travel magazine, he sees the answer. Take a trip through the Alps and retrace the steps of Hannibal and his Carthaginian cohorts. Why not, blurts out our hunter of homes. (I am sure right now all of you are giving a million different reasons to go to a million other places besides retracing the steps of a bunch of pachyderms through the mountains of Italy. But it's my vacation so you are stuck. So sit back and try to enjoy it.) Arriving in Spain, JOHNNY BORING (TM) is met by his guide and his 2 ton floppy eared transport named, appropriately enough "tiny." (Now granted Hannibal wouldn't have an elephant named Tiny in his entourage, but this is a NY based travel agent and they had to get the elephant from a circus.) Anyhow on with the story. (We will get to the apartment I promise.) Climbing through the mountains, our hero of the homeless, is told by his guide of the coming battles confronting the long dead scourge of Rome. Stopping one night at the pass of the Gauls, JB (that's short for JOHNNY BORING) decides to take a walk alone. As he turns the corner a voice comes out from behind a boulder. "I need a (1)bedroom apartment quickly," comes the voice from behind the rock. Thinking he has consumed too much wine at altitude, JB rubs his eyes, shakes his head, and utters his famous phrase that once again illustrates his unusual oratorical abilities, "huh." Once again the voice behind the boulder says, "I need a one bedroom apartment." "Who are you," blurts out the oratorical descendant of Demosthenes. "I am Hannibal" comes the faceless voice of the rock. "Oh sure I am Scipio Africanus," responds JB. " Do you want to meet at Zama next week" "Do not mock me mortal, I am the spirit of Hannibal." "I am doomed to roam among these mountains until some real estate agent sets me free by helping me find an apartment in Boston." (Right now you are saying "Oh my god I can't believe what I am reading." But I swear it really is the truth and Hannibal needed a place to stay in Boston so what could I do--forgetting for the moment that America wasn't discovered when Hannibal lived but heh he read about America in the Alps Gazette.) Returning to our story line, JB takes pity on Hannibal and says quite deftly, "are you sure you only need a 1 bedroom" I mean what about your brother Hasdrubal and all the elephants " Hasdrubal had his head cut off by Nero years ago and won't need an apartment anymore replies Hannibal as tears come to his eyes. "Wow didn't he pay the rent on time "That's even tougher than Boston landlords." Knowing not how to respond to the stupid, though well intentioned utterances of JB, Hannibal grimaces and sternly says, "can you help me find a place or not." "Sure I can help !" Whipping out his fully charged MAC, our purveyor of properties takes Hannibal and you on a journey to the apartment you have been waiting to hear about. Here it is. DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT (heat and hot water are included in the rent) )The bathroom is all newly tiled and features a set of lights over the vanity so you can do whatever you do with a set of lights over a vanity. Call email to see. Copyright (2002-2010 ) (James V Castelli) JV Castelli 617-739-0747 email@example.com www.apartmentman.net Cat OK -