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APARTMENTMAN In the continuing saga of "APARTMENT MAN," (TM) our hero has just finished attempting to find work that would take full advantage of his native skills, as well as his slightly less than marketable college degree. Where to find the job that would allow him to use his unbridled imagination and creative abilities to the fullest Where to employ a mind that still believed that "The Hobbit " was an accurate account of human history. Studying the help wanted section of his local paper an opportunity appears. "Vice president in charge of creative price tagging/marketing needed at "Needless Markup," a local well known retail store Experience in inducing an irrational buying frenzy in homo sapiens a plus. " (You can insert whatever retail store name you like !) What is a vice president in charge of creative price tagging/marketing How will working as a price tagging clerk help our hero of the homeless flex his flagging, flaccid intellect Good questions !! To a lesser mind a price tagging clerk, even a vice president, is someone who merely spends days attaching price tags on items for sale in all local retail stores. However, to our undaunted, product of the American educational assembly line, the chance to take full advantage of the creative opportunities are clear. He will be employed marking up sales prices !! He can create whatever he likes. How far can he push the creative envelope Louis Vinyl purses on sale for $400.00, reduced from $3,000.00, a possibility. (Talk about marketing. How did anyone get anyone to pay these prices for an ugly vinyl brown bag ) Dresses on sale for $200.00 reduced from a $1,000,000. 00 . What was the product actually worth Who cared !! Did anyone ever ask or check if a sale item was ever really offered for sale at the original price Of course not ! Merely being on sale was enough. The possibilities were endless. He could imagine the lines outside the stores. He could imagine the legions of shoppers at "Needless Markup" shrieking as they scooped up the last of the hot pink spiked heels on sale for $375. reduced from $1,500.00. He would influence history. Just then, the phone rang and it is you, the reader of this ad calling to ask about the apartment. Here is what you will be told about the apartment you have been patiently waiting to hear about. DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT: The kitchen measures 9.5 ft x 6 ft . Hardwood floors throughout. Laundry in the basement and steps from the T. Management on site. Call ASAP to see. Copyright (2004) (James V Castelli) JV Castelli 617-739-0747 Cat OK -


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