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Price: $1,100 Available: Now.

APARTMENTMAN: Working at his new job managing a hardware store, Johnny Boring (JB) delights in the working relationship he has with his new customers. He decides to begin a new marketing idea handing out donuts and coffee to people as they walk through the store. It is a marketing hit and the lines at the store begin to swell as people flock to buy hardware while mingling with neighbors over a coffee. The store owner is thrilled and congratulates Johnny on his creativity. Then one Monday morning the phone rings. JB takes the call. "This is Special Agent Lock Em Up Forever" booms the voice, and I want to speak to the manager. "What is this regarding " JB stammers into the phone. Agent Lock Em Up bellows, " I have been informed that the hardware store is handing out free coffee and donuts in violation of federal law making it a felony punishable by 10 years in prison to hand out free coffee without a federal permit. " I want to speak to the manager. " "Can I put you on hold while I get him ", murmurs JB. "Be quick about it" comes the impatient reply. As he stands at the Greyhound Station handling his ticket to Alaska JB wonders how he will like the cold long winters of Anchorage. Cat OK -


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