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President Because I Wanna Addresses The Nation, Cures All The Evils In The World

APARTMENTMAN: At his new job as fledgling reporter for the " I don't have a political agenda" daily news, Johnny Boring ( Alter ego of APARTMENTMAN) sits in awe at his first Presidential News Conference. As President " Because I Wanna" takes the stage, a hushed silence spreads among the crowd. Fielding questions with the blazing smile and deft eloquence of a skilled politician, President "Because I Wanna," gracefully sidesteps answers on how he will balance the budget, increase services to millions, make the sun a little warmer during the winter, and guarantee that ski resorts will never fail to get at least 200 inches of white stuff every winter, with the mesmerizing mantra " Because I can. " As he leaves the press conference among the other hypnotized reporters chanting "Because He Can" Johnny looks at his notes, scratches his head, and thinks of the Boston Big Dig ......      

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