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APARTMENTMAN: At his new job as fledgling reporter for the " I don't have a political agenda" daily news, Johnny Boring ( Alter ego of APARTMENTMAN) sits in awe at his first Presidential News Conference. As President " Because I Wanna" takes the stage, a hushed silence spreads among the crowd. Fielding questions with the blazing smile and deft eloquence of a skilled politician, President "Because I Wanna," gracefully sidesteps answers on how he will balance the budget, increase services to millions, make the sun a little warmer during the winter, and guarantee that ski resorts will never fail to get at least 200 inches of white stuff every winter, with the mesmerizing mantra " Because I can. " As he leaves the press conference among the other hypnotized reporters chanting "Because He Can" Johnny looks at his notes, scratches his head, and thinks of the Boston Big Dig ...... Cat OK -


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